Sunday, April 19, 2009

I Just Feel Like Writing

People, as they do, often ask me how things are going. Part of the conversation often turns to me being out of school and inevitably I comment on how nice it is not being in college anymore. I'm done at five and don't have homework and pretend that not being a student is a great source of happiness for me. I will now confess that it is a little white lie I tell for the conversation's sake. First of all, for the last several months I have been taking classes after work, which is worse than being a full time student. But more than that, I guess I really liked being a student. On Friday I talked with Jeebs, who is in the middle of finals right now, and realized that being in college was way easier for me than the time since has been. The description he gave of his finals schedule over the next few days brought me flashbacks of sleeping two hours per night and doing absolutely nothing but studying, eating, and sleeping for just under a week. Well, truth be told, I miss that for some reason! I don't know why I don't just tell people this. It would be just as easy to say I miss being a student and would probably make for an even better conversation. Maybe I'm being antisocial and trying to avoid dragging out the conversation. Maybe it just feels embarrassing to me to ever admit I was happier before than I am with the current situation I've put myself in. Who knows...understanding my mind is not a path I would wish anyone to have to tread. Anyway, I will be returning to the role of student soon enough, though the process of returning to school has been a source of more stress than literally any other time I can think of in my life (that's not really saying much-my life has been incredibly easy). This blog is no announcement and no decision has been made as to where we'll go, though if you talk to me you can find out where my heart leans. This blog is to let you know a fool proof method I have for dealing with stress, though I would never suggest that it will work for anyone else in the world.
Ben's stress cure: Lord of the Rings.
Weird huh? It works though. I finished reading The Return of the King less than a week before entering the MTC. My imagination was still quite strong at 19 years old, though I pretended to have grown up, and I really felt like I was involved in saving Middle-Earth to the point that I felt exhausted when I finally finished the trilogy. This will sound odd, but I think part of why I never really felt homesick or overwhelmed in Argentina was because it was nothing compared to Frodo's journey. I'm not even kidding and can say that because Brooke already married me so I don't care if people think I'm really nerdy or strange. Anyway, when I came back I found that the movies are just as enjoyable (no Mom, you can't compare movies to books any more than you can symphonies to paintings) and though the extended editions are like four hours long each, they are shorter than reading the books again so I oftentimes indulge myself. I watched them again over the course of the last several days and loved it. I wish I could erase my memory and watch them again for the first time somehow. I won't delve into my feelings but the story still captures my imagination for some reason and inspires me. So to sum it up, thank you J.R.R. Tolkien. That's a weak conclusion to my post and one may wonder what the point of all this was, but like the title said, I just felt like writing.


Rachel said...

I like it when you just feel like writing. At first I thought it was Brooke writing, though, so I got confused at the MTC part.

I know what you mean about missing being a student.

We'll call you quirky. That's more endearing than nerdy or strange.

Janell said...

I understand you completely. I first discovered Middle-Earth many years ago--maybe before you were born?--and I re-read those books about every 10 years. I also think that the movies are almost as enjoyable. I insisted that my book club read the trilogy because it is so dear to me, and that is when I realized that not everyone is as enthralled with Lord of the Rings as I am. So thanks for your post--from a kindred spirit!