Friday, December 5, 2008

It ain't easy being Utahn

You know you're from Utah when:

You can pronounce Tooele.

The U is not just a letter - Neither is the Y.

You are not surprised to hear words like "Darn, Fetch, Flip", "Oh, My Heck" and "Shoot".

Your tulips get snowed on three times after they come up and twice more after they bloom.

Hunting season is a school holiday.

You can go skiing and play golf on the same day.

30% humidity is muggy and almost unbearable.

You know the difference between a 'Steak House' and a 'Stake House'.

You can see the stars at night

You were an aunt or uncle before you were three.

Your spouse's mother was pregnant at your wedding.

You have more children than you can find biblical names for.

Your first child was conceived on your honeymoon.

You drink Coke from a brown paper bag.

You believe that you must be 18 or older to order coffee at a restaurant.

You think Jack Daniels is a country western singer.

You can make Jell-O salad without the recipe.

You have two gallons of ice cream in your freezer at all times.

Hotel rooms all have the Book of Mormon.

You learn about the Mormon Church by taking history in elementary school.

Schools stay open, even if two feet of snow falls overnight.

People wear shorts and T-shirts if the temperature rises above 32 degrees.

There is a church on every corner, but they all teach the same thing.

The most popular public transportation system is a ski lift.

People drive to Idaho (or Arizona) to pick up a gallon of milk so they can play the lottery.

In-state college football rivalries are bigger than the Super Bowl.

Every driveway has a minivan and a pickup truck.

When you buy a new vehicle, cigarette lighters are optional equipment but gun and ski racks are standard.

Every time a new family moves into your neighborhood, the local elementary school has to hire a new teacher.

Your paycheck has an additional 10 percent deduction.

More movies are filmed in your town than in Hollywood.

You make a toast with red punch at your wedding reception.

You have more raw wheat stored than some Third World countries.

Your idea of a wild party is a six pack of Root Beer and a PG-13 movie.

You measure Kool-Aid by parts per million.

You think "You're a 10 cow wife" is a compliment.

I had to post this because some of these are so true, especially for me.

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