I think a lot has to do with the fact that I'm a tiny bit of a control freak--just ask Ben. Luckily, thanks to Ben's patience, I have been getting better at that (he just starts to laugh when I start telling him how to do something he obviously already knows how to do and I realize I don't really need to be telling him how to go about picking me up from the airport, for example).
I try to remember to pray for patience every day. Sometimes it works and sometimes ... it doesn't.
A lot of times the moment I finally lose it and get mad at Dragon I feel bad and apologize to him immediately but I need to figure out how to realize I'm reaching that point before it's already happened. And, more importantly, I need to figure out a way to be more patient from the get-go.
I did have an epiphany recently when I realized that Dragon is a two-year old and not an adult. For some reason I'd been expecting him to act the way I'd act. It's been easier for me to be a bit more understanding and patient with him since then but that realization only goes so far.
Yes, he's two years old and yes two year olds make messes but I know he knows he's not supposed to be spraying water out of the shower (we have a shower head that can hang down for him to hold if we take it off the hook) onto the bathroom floor creating a wading pool in our bathroom.
And yes, two year olds are messy by nature but I JUST got him bathed and cleaned up from his morning adventures when he decided to make his way to the back yard and plop down in a pile of muddy water while I was trying to get Colt down for a nap.
Needless to say, I feel like my life is spent cleaning up messes and sometimes it's just one mess too many and I suddenly become a mean old monster.
So how do you keep your cool when you're raging inside? Or, better yet, how do you keep from raging inside in the first place!
If I can fake it at first hopefully eventually it just won't get to me any more.