Tuesday, June 24, 2014

Apparently I'm not perfect. Who knew!?

I really thought I was a patient person before I became a mom. I thought I was a patient person after becoming a mom when I had a newborn. I thought I was a patient person once my newborn became an infant. But then my infant became a toddler and I realized how impatient I really am.

I think a lot has to do with the fact that I'm a tiny bit of a control freak--just ask Ben. Luckily, thanks to Ben's patience, I have been getting better at that (he just starts to laugh when I start telling him how to do something he obviously already knows how to do and I realize I don't really need to be telling him how to go about picking me up from the airport, for example).

I try to remember to pray for patience every day. Sometimes it works and sometimes ... it doesn't.

A lot of times the moment I finally lose it and get mad at Dragon I feel bad and apologize to him immediately but I need to figure out how to realize I'm reaching that point before it's already happened. And, more importantly, I need to figure out a way to be more patient from the get-go.

I did have an epiphany recently when I realized that Dragon is a two-year old and not an adult. For some reason I'd been expecting him to act the way I'd act. It's been easier for me to be a bit more understanding and patient with him since then but that realization only goes so far.

Yes, he's two years old and yes two year olds make messes but I know he knows he's not supposed to be spraying water out of the shower (we have a shower head that can hang down  for him to hold if we take it off the hook) onto the bathroom floor creating a wading pool in our bathroom.

And yes, two year olds are messy by nature but I JUST got him bathed and cleaned up from his morning adventures when he decided to make his way to the back yard and plop down in a pile of muddy water while I was trying to get Colt down for a nap.

Needless to say, I feel like my life is spent cleaning up messes and sometimes it's just one mess too many and I suddenly become a mean old monster.

So how do you keep your cool when you're raging inside? Or, better yet, how do you keep from raging inside in the first place!

 If I can fake it at first hopefully eventually it just won't get to me any more. 


An Ordinary Mom said...

I love your realness and honesty in this post!

I am *still* trying to figure out how to keep my cool when I am raging inside :) !! {Having four kids home during the summer, with many of them liking to bicker, and it gives me plenty of opportunities to try and figure it out!} I thought I did decently well when I only had one kid, but then just like you, when they became a toddler, BAM, out came my dormant anger gene ;) !!

Just know you aren't alone!


Brooke-Jean Newman said...

I can definitely take solace in that! It does make me feel a little less terrible to know everyone has their weak parenting moments...or at least most of us do.

christy said...

You're just being a mom. It's not an easy job. No other job in the world has someone trying to destroy everything you do as soon as you finish. lol I do find that it helps me if i expect it and have a plan with how to deal with it ahead of time. Pre emptive action is key. I am most annoyed when caught off guard. And you're right. they are doing what they are meant to really. As Cory says, Kids stop acting like kids! When they are little I blame myself for everything they do and as they get older it transitions onto them step by step. Now I'm expecting a lot more of mine and it can be soo frustrating when you know they can clean up after themselves or do their school work but refuse to.

I tell Cory and the kids that it's my job to tell them what to do and how to do it. There have been many times I've kept my mouth shut thinking that surely they realize and think about things like I do and it ends in disaster so I just say it and they can take it if needed and nicely ignore me if not.

Jess and Richard said...

I have the same problem on a daily basis, if you figure out the secret let me know!