Sunday, April 20, 2008

Everyone should write a book.

Brooke keeps bugging me to write a blog so I will share with all of you a realization I've had recently. Everyone should write a book. Trust me on this, everyone who reads this should write a book. You don't need it to be well written or engaging to the audience in any way. No real plot is necessary. It's even fine if the reader feels so completely bored that there is no way anyone, including your editors, will really ever be able to read the whole thing. Just keep up the grammar through roughly eight chapters and then you can be sure the reader will flip through the final 3/4 of the book to the last chapter. It's there that you'll need to worry about grammar again because people will read the end to find out if there is ever a glimmer of purpose to the book. They'll learn that there isn't but it's ok because they've already bought your book. Plus, you covered yourself by calling your style "contemporary" so if anyone complains about it you can just say they aren't progressive enough to understand the work.
If you don't believe me, pick up First Light by Charles Baxter. Actually, don't ever, ever, ever try reading this book. Just know, apparently Penguin Books will publish any sequence of words you give them. Well, they did it for Charlie anyway.


christy said...

everyone should write their own book. it's called a journal or memoir. i keep thinking i should write down all of my fondest memories but i haven't yet.

kelsey said...

Sounds great. I think I'll suggest it for my next book club pick.